Search This Blog

Thursday, November 29, 2012

recovery

Today was Be-Blessed-Thursday.

Yesterday seemed pretty overwhelming (at least to everyone else on the internet? and at my small group? I think the person who won the most depressing day ended up being Tim, whose coworker got hit by a car and died yesterday morning in front of students from the school he was jogging to, to work). Celisse and I went and got crappy pho after small group at the only restaurant that was still open at 9:30 and then stood in the kitchen and listened to the guys talk about creation theology, and I wanted to say words but I just kept losing them while I stared into space.
I eventually drove home after midnight and sat in my driveway and cried for Tim's colleague. I cried because he didn't know he was going to die when he woke up yesterday morning. I cried because I know I am not doing enough with all the short time I've been given. I wept for Emily, and Elaine, and replayed my earlier conversation with Emily during our lunch together, and how she keeps looking for fulfillment in one empty avenue or another.

I don't have all the answers. But I do know that going to bed alleviates a lot of the pressure that we accumulate via coffee and dwelling on evil and making right and wrong decisions all day.

Today there was rest.

Surely goodness will follow me.

1 comment:

Hayden said...

Wow...amen. This is contemplative, I resonate with a lot of this. Yeah, amen.