I don't need to get steady, I know just how I feel

Everyday I watch the music video for the Black Keys' song "Tighten Up" and I roll ideas from one side of my head to the other about where these boys are everyday. I want to hang out with them. I haven't even listened to any more Black Keys songs yet, but I think I've found love. Which came at just the right time after being snubbed by the man I've been stalking for 2 years.
"She is tolerable I suppose; but not handsome enough to tempt me; I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men." Oh if only you knew what you were missing out on, Mr. Darcy.

Work is hard. I try to remember that my time doesn't belong to me. I try to remember how much I hated Starbucks. And I try to get good at sales. Theraflu and I were just good friends, and now it is becoming a dreamy romance.
I have to turn it all off somehow.

"I had to stop her from screaming!"
-Christopher Lloyd on Clue

"All I want is an enchilada."
-Philip, looking into a fridge full of Chinese food

First of all, I don't understand why Say Anything is a "classic". John Cusack is really cute, but the screenplay was terrible. Shaunte and I kept looking at each other and saying, when is this going to get better? What is the big deal about this movie?

And I can't remember what I was going to say next. I got really sick and now I'm going to read Max Weber til I fall asleep again.

And the new job honeymoon is over. This is real life, but it is still way better than anything I was living through a few months ago.

Once, we buried a humidifier out in the sideyard next to the shed, so we wouldn't have to pay the $40 to get it properly and environmentally disposed of.

The sky doesn't turn the same beautiful colors here, because the air isn't clean, and there are mountains blocking half of the sunsets and sunrises.

I am playing too much Nintendo everywhere.

For a reason that I haven't yet put my finger on, none of us like to get into the hot tub with one another. We uncomfortably shuffle and say, "oh no, you can go first" and then find something to do until it is our turn.
I don't know why we want the privacy. It was a wonderful kind of hot tub night, and all of us wanted to get in at the same time, but not with each other.

In other news, I am really liking this W. E. B. Dubois character. He makes me wish I could be black. I am encouraged and challenged by his words even though I am white.

"Unless we conquer our present vices they will conquer us; we are diseased, we are developing criminal tendencies, and an alarmingly large percentage of our men and women are sexually impure." - Dubois, Conservation of Races
Which I view as a comment on the entire human race.

"And I think that I would miss you, even if we never met." - Dermot Mulroney on The Wedding Date

Sometimes, now that my schedule is a normal human being, I get to stay up really late and watch chick flicks, and I say to myself in between commercials, I could really do a thing, like to get married. I could probably do it. I could maybe do it. Okay, the only reason I think I can do it is because the men in the movies wear nice suits and are 32 years old. The characters have their degrees and their own apartments downtown. Movies are unrealistic because those men who are 32 and stand still, quietly in a room, in real life, they have a lot of baggage. Like a child, or at least an ex-wife, or they are just plain freaky like my Starbucks boyfriends that I began to believe were secretly weirdos. Because you just don't have that great of hair and not already have a wife.
I don't know. I have a lot of years to figure this thing out, and thankfully new romantic comedies come out every month.

In other words, I know I am very German, but thinking that if I had actually been born in Germany would be really hard for me. I am learning this, during Oktoberfest.
Because in my real life, I am a Mexican. I eat mostly only Mexican food, and a whole lot of other reasons. It seems like my brother is too.
Our parents wish they could know where this came from.

"Well it's okay to indulge now and then."
"Yes, but I usually indulge more now than then."
-Celisse

"I do NOT think it would go well if I got stoned and went to Japan alone."
-Nick, on hearing "Who says" by John Mayer (from Ashleigh, but I feel like I was there. :)

and Tanya-isms

"In that neighborhood everyone knows everyone. They know everything: they know you farted last night, and how many times."
-on her mother-in-law's neighborhood

"Yes their marriage already been rocks for years."
-remember to add Russian accent

"Derrick, I don't want to live in a pig style everyday."
-she says this one a lot, so it's starting to sound right to me

I found out today that my professor has the same fantasy of eating cake and drinking champage in the bath tub. Or at least something similar. He said something to the extent of, "We should be chasing the best moments all the time. Like drinking champagne from the hot tub." He said another food instead of cake.

Still.

Sometimes I close my eyes and pretend Doug Fabrizio is reading me Jane Austen stories while I fall asleep in a hundred pillows.
And at least when I wake up, my midterms are over and my nails are sparkly.

I want so badly to be here.

School makes time go by so quickly. It's wonderful. I finished a 6 page paper tonight that is probably mostly garbage. Probably I will get notes back like, "There is no analysis here, you are simply putting the quotes in your own words." or "This is not what Hegel means when he says The Idea or Spirit." But I didn't decide to be an English major to write really analytical papers. It's mostly because I wanted to get a degree for reading a lot of books, and enhancing my knowledge of what has gone on in the world in the last 2000 years.
And if I write better fiction in the future, that's a plus.

But about the time. I have spent the majority of the last week by myself, mostly, doing homework, which was really enjoyable. But I feel that now is the time I get to hang out with different friends besides Liz Lemon and Blair Waldorf.

It's fall break after I finish my theory midterm tomorrow. I think I'm going to indulge in some Thai food, and hopefully it will be cold outside, and I will play Nintendo on the bus.

Life is good.