quotes, actually

"Oh sorry, can I change the subject or did you want to keep talking about diarrhea?"
-Ashley J.

Bryan: Hey babe, can you put this iPad in your purse so we don't have to leave it in the car during the movie?
Celisse: It's only an iPad 1.

"I'm so glad our band smells like girls again."
-Billy

St. Valentine's Day, and high standards

Source: etsy.com via Jane on Pinterest

Handsome Cappuccino Jon came to stand and wait for me to finish his drink and so I asked him if he was doing anything great for Valentine's day with his wife, because I just pictured him in a tuxedo, for some reason, sitting down in a fancy restaurant downtown across the table from a thin (possibly Brazilian? hopefully not blonde) woman and them just so happy to be married to each other that they couldn't even choke down some steak and red wine.
Jon: No, we're just hanging out.
Me: Oh. That's cool. How long have you been married?
Jon: (counting on his fingers) Four years.
Me: Dude, that is awesome, congratulations on staying married so long in Utah!
Jon: Yeah. Sometimes it gets boring. But boring is good too, I guess. See ya.
Me: Um, okay.

It was kind of a relief to have the celebrity fantasy of his gorgeous life just shatter in my head, but I just wanted to invite him to our church, and introduce him to all of my married friends who are still having fun together after 4 or more years, and that God can do awesome things to your heart.

I wish I wasn't so terrified. I don't know how to just get brave. And sometimes I do get brave, and start sharing my convictions, and then I seriously mess it up big time, because I'm human. I don't want to lose friends.

But WHY?
I have real, awesome friends at church. I should care less about the friendship of my coworkers and the customers in my mission field, and care more about their eternity. It's a struggle for me right now, and something I'm working on. Loving, and loving enough to share.

So anyway. Happy Valentine's day. You and I are loved by a gracious, and forgiving God who is just waiting to spend time with you and with me.

Ash Wednesday

At the beginning of this year, I decided I wanted 2013 to be a year of adventure, but also of increased self-discipline. I've spent a lot of years justifying doing whatever I want (lots of Treat Yo Self Thursdays and Fridays... and Saturdays...) and I just want to grow in the area fasting and self-control.

I listened to the Swerver message yesterday while I was running, and I got angry and bitter all over again, but then I got encouraged. And convicted.
My biggest conviction was that I need to be getting rid of bad habits, and replacing them with godly habits. 
Even if I never get married, or whatever. I don't want to be a slave to my guilty pleasures.

Anyway. When I was falling asleep one night, a month ago, I was thinking about how Megan was doing these different month-long challenges of basically fasting from different pleasures, and I thought I could at least do some form of that for Lent.


-10 days of no coffee
-10 days of no alcohol
-10 days of no eating out
-10 days of no soda/treats/bread

So you can see they get progressively harder. Ha.
 And I realize it is kind of a Catholic tradition and a lot of Protestants may find it legalistic, but I challenge you to read the description of Ash Wednesday and see if you don't think it's based on Biblical ideas, and how can it be a bad idea to pray every time I wish I was drinking a cup of coffee or eating a cream cheese danish? Plus, if you really want, you can take breaks on Sundays.

So that's what I'm thinking about today. Asking God to help me cast away my idols, because there are so many that creep up.
Praying for bravery.
Praying for strong marriages at my church.
Praying for this clean(ish) air to keep being a thing we can breathe in Utah.

There is hope in the air.

hi, hey, what are you doing?

Well it turned February, so 60 degree days are right around the corner. There was seriously a day last week that I was mad that it was too warm to keep my groceries in the car for a couple hours. But in general I'm kind of looking forward to spring this years. Maybe not July and August, but definitely the first part of W A R M.

The past week, I have been entering my calories in MyFitnessPal app and I think it is actually making me skinnier and making me work out more, (it only allows me 1500 calories, unfortunately) and I am always starving, as a result. But I think I lost 1 or 2 pounds this week.

Slowly paying off my Europe trip, and growing my savings for more trips, and for LASIK which I'm obsessed about. I'm encouraged, but still asking God if I should just stay at Starbucks or try to find a better paying job. Sometimes it is hard for me to know where the line is between living a simple, unflashy life at home with my family and with a 1998 car that's falling apart, or taking a step to becoming more financially "stable" and adult, but have less energy to give to my friends and ministries because I'm working a more stressful job.

 Still praying, never ceasing.

I'm encouraged. I'm pretty healthy. I'm cherishing the last couple weeks of sleeping with my electric blanket.

let's start over

Source: ascphoto.tumblr.com via From London With Love on Pinterest

Let's be kinder this time, from the beginning.

Let's know we're in love and say it out loud.

You can shake my dad's hand and make eye contact with him.

I can show up in myself when you kiss me. And I can kiss you back.

You can say nice things to me, and I won't drink at parties so that I won't embarrass you.

We can give up 7 years of selfishness and genuinely smile because we like it.

Let's pretend that none of the in-between happened if our friends bring it up.

Let's hold hands and pray.

Let's get dressed up and go dancing.

Or else, if you want...

we can just keep living in empty rooms and talking to imaginary versions of each other. For years and years.

Maybe I just thought I was in love because of the song that came on the radio when you walked into the room for the very first time.

It can be tricky like that. 

And we can keep going, because there's not much choice.