on repeat

Maybe it's the election, or getting my cavities filled (and old ones replaced...am I age 50?) that is really reminding me that I am not experiencing everything for the first time anymore. I am watching LOST and getting to the last episode (again) and finding myself calculating that if I watch one episode a week starting January 1st, I won't have to watch Sun and Jin die again until late 2014.

Maybe it was Radio West. This guy was telling Doug Fabrizio today about these moments while he was out hunting that surpassed those moments that only get to happen once in your life, better than putting a ring on someone else's finger in your own  wedding ceremony, or graduating college, or any of those moments that you already know what the picture will look like. He was talking about those moments that you don't expect, and you are wide awake for the whole thing, and think, "This is really happening, and it will never happen again," and he was talking about caribou. But I was thinking about my own moments that I get to have, like that.

Whether it is sitting across from Celisse in her car, and hearing her admit a secret that she really didn't have to tell me.
Whether it was that night, two weeks ago, that I was driving home from a closing shift and all my friends were doing something way cooler, but I slowed down my Jetta and watched people launch chinese lanterns across the park, and across the sky.
Whether it is meeting the love of your life, and having your breath catch in your lungs as you realized that he really understood you--like only in the way that a family member or your very personal God knows your soul--only to watch him slip away after 7-Eleven dates into the blue abyss of hipster/atheistic/rockstar territory.
Or watching your father cry, and finding out that he really loves you crazy.

What I have to look forward to are those moments. For the next 40 years, or whatever.
So I've got that.
There's that.