Matt- I will look forward to our luncheon for the remainder of this morning and during my afternoon classes. It will sustain me.
Sincerely, Rachel

Rachel. The pho will sustain me just as much as the pleasure of your company will.
Regards,
Matthew

Matt, with the accordance to the Utah Clean Air act, I suspect neither of us will be smoking during our company. Thank you, Rachel

Rachel, the surgeon general reports that smoking is bad for our health. Please don't smoke if you are pregnant. With all due respect,
Matthew

Matthew: I already knew that. I am pregnant with the surgeon general's baby. I was more concerned about second hand smoke.
Yours truly, Rachel

Dear Rachel, I was hoping to be a surgeon general one day and make someone pregnant. Thanks, Matthew.

Matthew, I hope you fine some new goals in life.
Appalled,
Rachel

Me: I totally want to come to the movie tonight. I think I have my homework in the bag.
Jason: This is stupid to ask, but do you mean, "homework in the bag" like the figure of speech, or do you literally have homework in your bag that needs to be done?"
Me: Both.
Jason ( 4 minutes later) : I feel retarded for asking, but its like, the first way implied that you got it taken care of and out of the way, whereas the literal way means the opposite. So I racked my brain, and did what anyone in my place would do- Chacha'd it. They didn't give me a good answer, so I am forced to ask you again.