post haze

If the last 13 days of heavy smog and coughing and restlessness and sad January blues were just leading up to this day.....it might have been worth it.

I made myself go to bed at 7:30 last night and got at least 6 hours of reparation sleep, before opening with my darling Elaine (whose problems, sadly, get worse as the months unfold themselves) and my heart started to hope, as I could almost make out the mountains in the 4:27am glow of the valley.

By 8 o clock, I could see everything out of the windows, and it was like that feeling of making a last payment on a huge loan. That feeling of breath after someone you thought was your friend, holding you under water for 13 days.
 That feeling of someone asking you to marry them, and you said yes, and you liked it.

That is how I've felt all day long. It's better than getting 100 happy birthday texts and a surprise love note, and fireworks, and Nothing Bundt Cake.

After I got off of work, I decided not to waste any time on my usual post-open nap (even though I love sleep more than almost everything) because my boss told me I was being considered for an exciting Starbucks adventure, and then I ran 8 miles at the gym, on the high that was left over from my morning.

After that, I just sat in my hot tub and ate an ice-cream sandwich, and for once, just soaked it all in. I don't know what to do about all the people in South America who have less than me, and have worse days than me. I still don't know. But today, I forgot all of the things I've been regretting, and just cherished every happiness and every love song, and every mile that my strong legs carried me.

But here I am, and God gave me one more day to live, and

God, thank you for that.