I'm having non-fiction writer's block lately. I haven't been able to make my real life seem funny or interesting, because no one wants to hear how awesome my vacation was, or how I went to another wedding where the married couple was younger than me.

So I will just rely on Roxanne, because she is always good for a laugh, or a jaw dropping story, or when you need to break out into song.

Me: The truth is, Roxanne, I haven't had a boyfriend in a long time because I am not good at it.
Roxy: Yeah, me either. My last two boyfriends were an alcoholic and then a drug dealer. But I miss the money and the jewelry.