Source: fab.com via Rachel on Pinterest

I drive in to the night, wish for b l a c k in the rearview mirror
 and b l a c k up ahead in all directions, and just my two headlights.

I am surprised most days to have lived to be this age. I never thought that I would make it. And every year it keeps being more of a surprise. And somehow the Hope doesn't die.

I have been sleeping on air mattresses for 11 days. It feels like camping. Or, sometimes the one mattress on top of the other shifts askew, and I lay there rocking, like I am on a small vessel, hoping I do not wake up rocked into the water during the night. The router for the internet blinks above my head, so sometimes it is more of a submarine, silently submerged into sleepy waters. And in here, underwater, I actually dream that you come to get me. That I would be the one you would open up the door and say Here I am.
But I also think, how did I live to be this age, and sleeping on an air mattress. And how can I think I'd be a person that you would burst down the door for.