Receiving Gifts.

I feel downright spoiled, these days.

And there is something very hard for me, about receiving gifts. I'm the oldest child in my family, and we grew up in a very frugal household. I never wanted to owe my parents everything, so I've always had jobs to pay for the things that I wanted to enjoy, but wouldn't let my parents pay for.

I had my truck paid off by my first semester of college. I always bought my own clothes. I have never asked my parents for money.

Growing up this way has made it very hard for me to accept gifts. To receive a gift I haven't earned gives me that weird feeling in my gut. I have to live up to this, I think.

Since I got here, I have been lavishly showered in love and presents, and adoration by my grandmother, my grandfather, and even my great uncle. I think, that even though it is hard to receive this attention, it is a picture, also, of what Christ has done for me. Something that I can never repay. But it gives me drive in my gut to live up to something. Our works on earth will never bring us any closer to the arms of Jesus, but our servitude is a reflection of our gratitude.

I am more humbled and convicted each day of what a crumby human I am, and the Christ-follower I want to become. I want to leave a legacy.