It's been quite a few days of having this blood blister under my fingernail. My thumbnail. Slammed it in a register. Nails take a long time to grow. It's been 18 days and it has only floated a twelfth of an inch higher.

Things take a long time to change.

Like bad habits. 21 days or something to quit a bad habit? 21 days of that empty feeling in your gut of living without that habit.
But how many days will it take for me to look at your face and convince myself that I'm not in love with you? The muscles in my heart snapping and ripping and my stomach clenched up, my appetite gone. The bruise; the hematoma that will form in my chest, and the high-necked shirts I will wear to cover it up. How many days of that?
I'm not going to pretend that
I'm going to give in to that yet.
The bruise.
The shaking.