your parents were anxious, your cool was contagious

Suddenly I went from partying every night til 2 a.m. to being some sort of person who goes to bed early and gets up early and works for the man and has a schedule. Like I used to.

"Then followed a year of lonely convalescence that set him on a path of self-sufficiency that made him comfortable in a world largely populated by himself and his thoughts."
-Tom Smart Alex Colville Return

Sometimes I read that quote (I wrote it down a couple years ago from a book on how to paint water colors. ???) And I think that I live in a world largely populated by myself and my thoughts. Under my hair, speaking to mostly God. Especially on the days that I am working, and Alex isn't there, and nobody texts me because they are working. (Funny how that goes) I often find myself leaning over to plug in a vitals machine, or in a closet disinfecting IV poles with painfully potent alcohol wipes and entering into a conversation with God right off the bat, mid sentence, like we'd never stopped talking. Even when he is barely whispering answers to my questions.
"God, do I go to Provo..."
"God, is it wrong for me to give up the band?"
"God, what in the world am I doing?"
And then suddenly I am interrupted by a nurse who reminds me of a bird.
"DID YOU GET THAT BLOOD SUGAR IN 39!" He seems to be squawking at me. And then I am left midsentence again, to finish this conversation later.

Makes me wonder how other people spend the time in their head.