--quotes--
Sheri: I can't even be here. My friend died yesterday.
Me: Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that. Were you really close?
Sheri: Very close. She was a rich friend, and I keep my rich friends very close.
God can bring me whatever kind of woman he wants. Unless it's a Hungarian girl.
-Bogdan
Watching a boy pull a girl down the street by her hair:
Me: Man, this is the wild west.
Emanuel: Oh this is nothing, sometimes they bring out their swords.
Ashlyn: Wow, you and me are chopped liver!
Me: He only has eyes for Liz.
Liz: I think someone else has his teeth though.
When we were kids, we used to call Coca Cola "water with darkness in it".
-Carla
He's going to come back and throw a mazel tov cocktail through the window.
-Celisse
I think maybe he used to be cute. Maybe they used to have a real arousing marriage, but I don't know."
-Judy talking about really old neighbors
Francisco: Did you miss me yesterday?
Me: Por su puesto!
Francisco: Don't be sarcastic. I know you only like me way way way way way way in the back of your heart.