Sometimes I feel like my sobriety is viewed like a cancer by my friends who are normal, and can drink normally. Like they don't know how to act around me, and that I'm more serious than I used to be. 

What I want in this next year of my life is to be as fun, or more fun, than I was when I had alcohol to help my personality. It's more work now, but I feel like I can little-by-little get excited to be alive.

The dreams are scary enough, and my new life is happy enough to keep me whole.