God willing and the creek don't rise

It may be time to retire from house/dog-sitting as I don't need the money anymore, and I seem to attract the worst problems to me (and other people's property.) I could write a book on my house-sitting misadventures.

This time around.

-First night, one of the 5lb Pomeranians ate two grapes out of my bowl when my back was turned. Well, grapes are poisonous to dogs, and I spent an hour googling "Is my dog going to die from eating grapes" and trying to do the math of grape poison in grams to dog weight in kilograms. Ratios. Ugh. I tried to get him to throw up for the next hour (my mom suggested a teaspoon of salt on his tongue, tried that one, didn't work) and I read that burned toast does something, so I burned the only bread I could find in the house, and he gladly ate it, and still didn't throw up. So I went to bed praying really hard that God would spare his foolish little life. And you know what? 24 hrs later, he was just fine. Not even diarrhea.

-Second day, I accidentally left the fridge slightly open, and all the cold air escaped and went unreplenished as fridges do not like their doors to be left ajar. I came back four hours later and very sadly threw away lukewarm bacon and roast beef. I did, however, move the expensive cheeses to the freezer immediately, and I have been eating them and I haven't died yet.

-Third day: really cold. This couple has been using space heaters instead of the furnace to heat the house since it's been a sunny 60 degrees in Utah since, like, September. So I had the space heater on, and warmed my coffee in the microwave at the same time, and tripped a breaker. Stood out in the rain trying to figure out which one it was on the side of the house, one by one, and ended up giving up and flipping them all. Now all the clocks in the house are blinking.

Same day, I finally text the homeowner to say are you sure you don't want me to turn on the furnace? i.e. are you worried about your pipes at all? She says turn on the furnace, but then I come home from church (earlier than I normally would, thank God) and A PIPE HAS BURST. The ceiling in the downstairs bathroom is bulging with water.

So that is my weekend. I hope you are all binge-watching Scandal or LOST or something so I can live through your free time vicariously...