I'm writing this post during the day, firstly because I am awake, and secondly because I know I won't get as morbid.
Sometime around midnight, I lost my dog to an early death of disease. Last night I didn't really want to face what it would feel like to come home from work today and not have her waiting for me at the door. Not getting to go on a run with her anymore. Not taking naps together.
My eyes feel like I was punched in the face at a bar fight, even though I was home most of the weekend weeping, and I learned enough in 2009 to know that drinking just puts off the grief until later.
As my dad took her to be mercifully euthanized, I couldn't help but say out loud, "God, why are you stripping blessings away from me one by one?" And then I read Job and felt ashamed.
God is good, and I have to learn like a child, over and over again that we're all going to die. We're all going to hurt, but that we are meant to live life for Him while we still have it, to rejoice and to praise Him because He is merciful, and He deserves it.
Revelations 21:4
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
I hope that it teaches me to appreciate what I do have right now.
Pressing onward.
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