the first day of my life

Cinque Terra, Italy

It's hard to know what to start writing about my trip.
It was fantastic. I wish that every one I knew and love could have been there. Everything was gorgeous, and tasted great, and time slowed down, and my stomach healed, and things that never made sense started to make sense about the whole world.

Stuff like that, is what I would say.

But some things I will say as I decompress are that
1) I love America
2) I even love Utah
I was ready to come home after seventeen amazing days.

About life now

I was washing dishes at Starbucks today (is that where I have most epiphanies?) and I was realizing that real life is nice. I don't know how to explain to you what real life is. It is a combination of being done with college, and having taken every girl's dream vacation, and then what is left? What is next? I'm supposed to start some journey or career or something, but in fact, just real life by itself is nice.

On the car, driving home from a pho date with Celisse and Bryan, I thought about how people 5, 7, or 11 years older than me are just now starting over with nothing. Somewhere out there.
And I'm starting over, but not with nothing. I'm starting over with an education, and not doing drugs, and a faith and hope in Jesus, and a family that loves me.

The desires of my heart are far away and unreachable, but that's probably how I like them. I like the chase.
And it keeps me desperate for time with my maker.

So this is the first day of my life with no countdowns. To the big, white canvas waiting for me.
Real life is kind of nice.