Well, I didn't solve any problems this week. I may have even regressed.

I didn't get the job at Chase, which is God, I guess.
"I've been praying that you won't get that job," Alex joked to me at lunch today. She didn't really pray. But maybe even God just wants me to stay for her. That would be a weird thought since I can tell that she sometimes thinks my faith is a huge joke. I feel liked I've failed her, in some ways, by not being a better example. The truth is, my faith doesn't just make me feel good. I don't just show up to work happy everyday because Jesus lives in my heart. I have a small amount of joy that hasn't died yet, and that sustains me day to day. It keeps me smiling when I see Alex, even if I have nothing to smile about.
But it sucks, because I was really looking forward to maybe working at the bank. To trying something new. And that makes it even harder to go back to work on Friday, knowing that I have to stay there longer.

I wish Jesus would just come back RIGHT NOW.
I want to breathe that fire again.