So I did go back to bed, you know?
And I stayed there. First I listened to Natalie Merchant and then Rufus Wainright's version of Hallelujah a few times, pulled the covers up over my head, and fell asleep til 2:38. I am afraid of everything at this point. What every day is like, without structure. It makes me nervous thinking about it even right now.

Kelsea got me to leave my bed and follow her around town to Starbucks with Zach and Matt Miller, and then to a series of stores for Christmas shopping. I didn't find anything for anyone else, but bought myself the best of the Pixies. Then we went up to the University, for one of the last times to her dorm, so she could write her R.A. a cryptic note about her leaving for good, put some toothpaste in the holes in the wall, and then came back to our own town for band practice.

So, I like music. And that is one reason to get out of bed, I think. At least today. I'm not so afraid of tomorrow, because of music.

"With your feet in the air and your head on the ground..."
-Pixies